The Painful Realization That You Are Not Indispensable

One of the most painful truths for humans is  the discovery that we are not indispensable.

Although we don’t want to admit it, we all want to feel like a hero. We like to know that we are important and valuable to someone and to believe that someone else could not live without us.

Despite this fact, reality shows us again and again that we are not indispensable. It’s normal to feel unique – because you are and you are special. However, there are many people in this world and although it is painful, we are not indispensable in someone else’s life.

We are not indispensable

You may not know how needed you can be until you have a partner. Within a family, each member follows his own path and even our closest friends can leave us or disappoint us. However, what happens in our more personal relationships? What happens when we get intimate with someone?

In a romantic relationship, there is one element that still exists today that causes a lot of pain: possession. We think having a partner means being in possession of someone, that they should always be with us, that we will spend the rest of our lives with that person.

We don’t know whether this is caused by love or blindness,  which makes us forget that no one is owned by anyone else. You are not owned by anyone else. Everyone is free. The problem is how we’ve come to see relationships.

For example, think of a time when someone filled your life and you thought you were indispensable to that person. When the relationship ended, your world collapsed.

Was this the end of the world? New. The world is still spinning and you forget it all once you find someone else. And that’s when you realized that  that other person wasn’t indispensable and neither were you.

You need to know when it’s time to go

Thinking that you are indispensable sometimes makes you unable to let go, even though it is time to do so.

Imagine a mother or father who thinks they are indispensable to their child. They don’t realize that the time has come to let go and instead of taking care of him or her, they harm the child.

The same thing happens with countless other relationships in our lives. Sometimes your own need to be indispensable makes you selfish and keeps you from seeing that you have to distance yourself. It’s time to let go.

Romantic relationships create the worst situations, which often become toxic. You have to get yourself out. No one is indispensable and you yourself are no exception.

You think there is always someone who needs you. You can support someone who really needs it. However, you must understand that people will enter your life and you will enter the lives of others and you or they will leave at some point.

You are indispensable to yourself

Do you know who you are indispensable for? Who always needs you? The answer is you yourself. Only you yourself are indispensable to yourself. You are the one person who will never leave you.  You will always be there and you will always be your own best friend.

That’s why it’s so important to trust and love yourself. You have to accept yourself as you are. Only if you understand that you are not indispensable to others, you will not find it annoying. You have yourself and you need to make sure you feel happy.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel more important when others need and love you, but you don’t seem to appreciate the fact that you need yourself. The first person to love is yourself. The first person you should rely on is yourself!

How many times have you wished to be indispensable? How did you feel when you realized you’re not this?

I hope this has helped open your eyes so that you should at least be aware that you need to love and trust yourself. Cultivate your own love first,  don’t let your own happiness depend on being indispensable to others.